In the first article of this series, I discussed entering with purpose, listening before acting, and running alongside the train before jumping on. That’s how you gain credibility in the early days. But credibility alone is not enough. Hospitality is a people business. Success comes down to who you build trust with, and how quickly. Your skills may get you the position, but relationships will determine if you keep it—and how far you go.
Why Relationships Decide Careers
In hotels, everything flows through people. Your boss decides your visibility. Your peers decide how smooth your daily life will be. The silent influencers—those without big titles—determine whether your ideas fly or fall flat. Miss any one of those, and the first 100 days can turn from opportunity to obstacle course.
Years ago, I took over as Assistant F&B Manager at a large property. I was eager to impress and thought my best bet was to focus on my GM. But the first week taught me otherwise.
The maître d’, a man with no official seniority beyond his department, had the loyalty of every server. He knew every repeat guest by name and their preferences without needing to refer to a sheet. If he trusted you, the team followed. If not, you could be F&B Manager, Director, or even the Pope—it didn’t matter.
I didn’t win him over with orders or policies. I won him by spending time on the floor, listening to his stories, and asking him how things really worked. Slowly, he opened the door. Once he did, the entire team accompanied him. That was the real lesson: relationships drive performance, not titles.
Do: Start with Your Boss
Your direct manager is your top priority in terms of relationships. Don’t assume you know what they want—ask them directly.
- What does success in this role look like after 3 months? How do you prefer to receive updates—through quick chats, emails, or formal reports? Are there any quick wins I should aim for?
These questions do more than give you clarity. They show respect and signal that you are serious about aligning. A boss who feels understood will provide you with the room to grow.
Don’t: Ignore Your Peers
Too many newcomers focus only upward. They think impressing the GM is enough. Wrong.
Your peers—other department heads, assistant managers—decide whether you’re supported or isolated. If they see you as arrogant, your ideas will meet resistance. If they see you as a team player, they’ll help you succeed.
It’s simple things: having lunch with them, sharing credit in meetings, or stepping in when someone is short-staffed. Peers remember those moments.
Do: Find the Hidden Mentors
Every hotel has people who aren’t on the org chart but shape everything. The senior housekeeper who knows the staff by heart. The banquet captain who’s been there longer than three GMs.
These are your hidden mentors. They teach you the unwritten rules, the shortcuts, the authentic culture. Treat them with respect, and they’ll give you the insights no training manual offers.
Don’t: Align Too Early
In your first weeks, you’ll notice alliances, cliques, and even rivalries. Don’t take sides. Stay neutral until you understand the politics. Aligning too early can close doors before they have a chance to open.
A word on Reputation
In hospitality, reputation spreads faster than your resume or C.V. One careless word at the staff canteen can reach the GM’s office by dinner. A manager who builds respect and trust in the first 100 days sets themselves up for opportunities later.
I dedicated an entire chapter of my book, The Perfect Hotel Career, to this. It’s no coincidence—the hoteliers who rise are the ones who understand that relationships are their career currency. You can read it 👉 here.
Mistakes to Avoid
- Focusing only on the boss and ignoring peers.
- Acting like you already know better than the veterans.
- Trying to be “visible” instead of being reliable.
- Aligning with one group before you’ve read the whole map.
Final Thought
Your first 100 days are not about building a fan club. They are about introducing you as a professional, a team player, and building trust. Respect your boss, support your peers, and learn from the hidden mentors. Do this, and doors will open faster than you imagine.
Next week, we’ll shift our focus from relationships to results. How to deliver early wins—without stepping on toes, without overreaching, and without losing credibility.
Helmut
Inspire a Young Hotelier
Looking to inspire a young hotelier—or give guidance to a colleague aiming higher?
My debut book, The Perfect Hotel Career: Your Masterplan to Success, offers practical tools, career cycles,
and insider strategies to focus on personal growth and advancement.
Share the gift of a clear career path today: 👉 Get it here.
📢 Coming Soon: Karriere machen – nicht leiden
Following my debut book, The Perfect Hotel Career, this new guide is designed for hoteliers
who want to advance their careers without compromise.
Karriere machen – nicht leiden offers key insights on the best companies to work for,
practical strategies for mindset development, and a forward-looking view of the hotel industry’s future.
The German edition is scheduled for release in November–December 2025,
with the English version to follow in March 2026.
